This morning I read this article about today’s “hook up” culture. My reaction was mixed – I agree in part that hooking up can be hurtful to some women, sometimes. But other parts of the article annoyed me – sentences like this: “’Men have always hooked up,’” says Sawyer. What you are seeing now is a desire of women to act in a masculine way, without being judged a whore.’”
Why is hooking up accepted as “masculine” behavior? Why shouldn’t women enjoy sexual freedom without being viewed as whores? Why do women have to be the moral police of the world? Why do we have to be all concerned about poor little girls and how their behavior will hurt them, but act as though men have always done it and it ain’t no thang for them. Bullshit. Either it’s hurtful to young people – both male and female – or it isn’t.
How is the hook up culture good for men? At one part in the article, the author says that hooking up is like thanksgiving for men – men get sex and they don’t have to do anything. But why is sex always framed in a way where men are trying to get it and women are supposed to refuse them? Why isn’t it hurtful to men too? The article says that one of the reasons hooking up is damaging to women is because it “denies their emotional needs. But at least they have emotional needs to begin with. If we treat this culture as acceptable for men and not women, then we say it is ok for men to be completely void of emotion in the sexual context. Why do we act as though it is acceptable and normal for men to be void of emotion with regards to sex, but women are supposed to be emotional? I mean seriously, one group (men or women) kind of has to change their thinking if we frame it this way or people are never going to get together. If we say it is ok for men to be void of emotions and just want to hook up, but women are all supposed to be emotional and hold out for real relationships, then I fear there is going to be a problem. Someone is going to have to give in and compromise. IS the author suggesting that the men are the ones that have to compromise? I don’t know. She doesn’t say. She just makes gender stereotypes and broad judgments about what men and women want and are capable of handling.
If we think hooking up is a problem, then we need to be concerned on behalf of women and MEN. Women are not delicate, fragile creatures who need people to take care of them any more than men are.
Why is hooking up accepted as “masculine” behavior? Why shouldn’t women enjoy sexual freedom without being viewed as whores? Why do women have to be the moral police of the world? Why do we have to be all concerned about poor little girls and how their behavior will hurt them, but act as though men have always done it and it ain’t no thang for them. Bullshit. Either it’s hurtful to young people – both male and female – or it isn’t.
How is the hook up culture good for men? At one part in the article, the author says that hooking up is like thanksgiving for men – men get sex and they don’t have to do anything. But why is sex always framed in a way where men are trying to get it and women are supposed to refuse them? Why isn’t it hurtful to men too? The article says that one of the reasons hooking up is damaging to women is because it “denies their emotional needs. But at least they have emotional needs to begin with. If we treat this culture as acceptable for men and not women, then we say it is ok for men to be completely void of emotion in the sexual context. Why do we act as though it is acceptable and normal for men to be void of emotion with regards to sex, but women are supposed to be emotional? I mean seriously, one group (men or women) kind of has to change their thinking if we frame it this way or people are never going to get together. If we say it is ok for men to be void of emotions and just want to hook up, but women are all supposed to be emotional and hold out for real relationships, then I fear there is going to be a problem. Someone is going to have to give in and compromise. IS the author suggesting that the men are the ones that have to compromise? I don’t know. She doesn’t say. She just makes gender stereotypes and broad judgments about what men and women want and are capable of handling.
If we think hooking up is a problem, then we need to be concerned on behalf of women and MEN. Women are not delicate, fragile creatures who need people to take care of them any more than men are.
2 comments:
I looked at the article and, surprise, surprise: a girl from my home state, SC, saying all of her friends are engaged. For the record, I think they're also completely misreading Sex & the City.
I think you hit the nail on the head with "either it's hurtful to young people - both male and female - or it isn't." Overall, I think it's more about where each individual is in terms of maturity and understanding your own needs at a particular point in time. If one person is needing commitment and the other is just looking for a good time...Houston, we have a problem.
I agree Miriam, things are changing and they affect both sexes. Both men and women are either harmed or benefiting based on their own need.
Its stupid to say that women are being harmed by it and men are having a field day. Just as stupid to assume that men have no emotional needs and women automatically do.
Just broad ridiculous generalizations and assumptions and more of the lets go back to the 'old ways' where everything was so much better.
If you read more on her, she keeps harking back to how it is not the same as when she was the same age. Well.. things have changed for better or worse and we need to deal with them. Its a gradual thing.. Im sure in her time her Mother was shocked to learn she had a boyfriend whom she snuck around to make out with. ex. "Why in my day, we married before we could do anything."
If I may speculate, I think it is the increasingly larger old population(mostly conservative) of the US that is rebelling against social change and not accepting that young people want to have their way.
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