Jesus Camp

My Childhood...

explains a lot about me, doesn't it?

I havn't seen the documentary yet, but just the trailer gives me the creeps.

Also, check out these great reminders of Jesus' love and compassion as expressed through the Christian church....

The Nuremberg Files; Abortion Dr. Hit List

Westboro Baptist Church's Godhatesfags.com

Operation Save America

Disgusting.

I'm a monster

I have a law school friend with whom I always get in these deep, angry debates. It doesn’t matter what we talk about - the importance of sports announcers, racial profiling, who can pay for what, universal truths, the appropriate use of state constitutions – it always ends in a raging fight. No matter what the subject, I can’t let it go. He always has to be right and I hate that. I can’t let him get away with it. I have to be right. When the fights are over I feel angry and frustrated and weak. Why am I such a bitch? Why do I get so argumentative every time we were together? Eventually, I came to realize that my friend and I are really very alike, and as such, we seem to inadvertently bring out the worst in each other.

It’s the same way when I go home to see my family. We constantly fight. I find myself attacking and arguing for no apparent reason. Is it a preemptive strike? An old habit? A strange family dynamic? I don’t know. I just know that I become a monster – 10x worse than normal. When the fights are over I feel horrible for intentionally hurting the people I love. I just don’t know how to control myself.

I just hate that certain people and situations bring out the things I hate the most about myself. I guess the solution is to turn it into a mechanism for personal growth. I should focus on being calm, rational, non-combative and non-confrontational. Maybe if I can learn to repress my ugly side around those who bring it out the most, I’ll practically be cured of myself.