x-mas is stupid

I hate the holidays. They are made for couples. Dating couples or cute old married people or families with little kids. Everything has that warm cuddly feeling – which is great if you have a significant other…or a puppy. Sadly, I have neither. As I was reveling in my sorrows in the Publix checkout line, it occurred to me that instead of being a depressed poopy-head, I should think about and truly appreciate the things that I do have. So, I decided to make a list…

1. Two parents that love me (though sometimes begrudgingly)
2. A brilliant younger brother who always keeps in touch
3. An amazing best friend who, though far away, is always there for me
4. Great new friends who listen to me over-analyze and help me scheme
5. Malibu Bay Breezes
6. Enough money to put food on the table and a roof over my head
7. A great rack and three beautiful new Victoria’s Secrets bra and panty sets
8. I’m in law school and 1 semester closer to making my dreams come true!
9. A brain that works (most of the time)
10. A wonderful roommate who can put up with my mess!
11. I haven’t gotten sick yet this year (knock on wood)
12. “Cold” in Florida = 60 degrees!!!
13. A car that works
14. Mr. Dependable
15. AA batteries

Feel free to help me think of more things I should be thankful for!!!

What keeps men and women from being equal: the choice...

Recently, during a discussion on women’s issues and equality, someone asked me if knowing what I did, I would have rather been born a man. And for the first time, although I didn’t actually say it, my answer to that question was yes. It’s not the monthly menstruation that bothers me or the fact that I will always be (on average) physically weaker than a man. It’s not even the long history of discrimination. I don’t think that it will be impossible for me to accomplish my goals and dreams because I am a woman. I’m not angry because of the sexual double standard or the fact that society places a much heavier burden on me to be physically attractive then it does on men. None of this is really that bothersome….

But, the one aspect of being a woman that truly tortures me is - the choice. The choice that I’ve dreaded since I was a little girl. The choice that I know will follow me throughout my adult life. The choice that no man will ever really understand. As a woman, I will have to choose between being a mother and being a professional. Career over family. I will have to think about it, struggle with it, agonize over it… Even if I decide to do both, that decision process is inevitable. And, no matter what I choose, I will probably end up one day looking back on my life, wondering if I made the right choice…

Men do not have to make that decision. The world assumes that men can have a career and a family without sacrificing either. I envy that so much.

Even other women contribute to the pressure we feel to make “the choice.” The other day I was discussing this with some of my female, law school friends. They both stated that they were going to take several years off and stay at home to raise their children because that was the best thing you could do if you were going to have a child. They didn’t want someone else raising their kids. They assured me that it was a choice and that each woman had to decide for herself, but the implication was evident – good mothers stay home and raise their kids. Good mothers put themselves and their careers on hold. Good mothers make the right choice.

I don’t want to make the choice. I want career and family to come to me as easily as they come to men. I don’t want to hear about biology or my nature or my maternal instincts. I don’t want to be here, at 2am wondering if in 20 years I am going to look back on my life and question whether or not I made the right choice.

I don’t care how far women have come. As long as “the choice” haunts us, we will never be truly equal.

"But who will protect the corporations???"

Chickens are to birds as I am to:

Consumers

Corporations

OK, so maybe it’s a week analogy, but you get the point. More than likely you, my fellow American, have more in common with the average consumer than the average fortune 500 corporation. I would think most people realize this. So why is it that in my contracts class, all of the crazy republicans support corporations like Gateway when they rip off consumers? Scenario: When P opens his new gateway computer, in the box he finds a long, technical list of terms and conditions. One of the terms is an arbitration clause that says if there is a problem and he wants to file suit he can’t. He has to arbitrate the case in NY (by the time P travels to NY and pays arbitration costs, he has spent more than the value of the computer. Thus, Gateway has, in effect, deprived P of any meaningful access to recovery.) What’s more, P has 5 days to return the computer if he does not accept these terms. The court ruled that this was not a valid. One would think that all potential computer purchasers would be glad. But nooooooo…. Heated debate ensued…

One very bright student (*wink*) suggested that even providing prior notice was not enough because all the computer companies would just include the arbitration clause in their contracts, making the market driven solution (buying elsewhere) moot. Instead, consumer protection legislation was needed to make sure that companies did not take away consumer’s access to a legitimate forum/remedy. You would think that future computer buyers would support this idea… but amazingly many did not. Outcries of “but who will protect the corporations” could be heard throughout the room. Somehow, making sure that companies do not take advantage of consumers was “taking away the rights of corporations.” Who knew ripping the average, working class American off was a right. One person even said that we don’t need any more legislation regulating corporations. Yeah! Corporations don’t need to be regulated!! I mean, historically, companies have always considered the best interests of the consumers. Those child labor laws, minimum wage and overtime requirements, discrimination rules, EPA standards, FDA regulations, etc. were totally unnecessary! Dude!! If companies had their way, 12 year old would still be working in factories for 10 cents an hour and no one would have health insurance!!!! Corporations will do whatever they can get away with. This is why we need government to step in and keep them in line. Corporations already run the friggin’ country!! And somehow these delusional, middle class republicans have been brain-washed by corporate loving American into believing that corporations are in danger and their rights are being taken away!! HELLO!!!! Have you been paying attention for the last 150 years??? But don't you worry so much, Republicans, (I know all this silly consumer protection nonsense is making your widdle head hurt), with out President the oil tychoon and his vice-president in the International arms business, I have a sneaking suspicion that somehow the corporation will manage just fine...

It's the Supreme Court, honey, not the club...

OK, now, I'm sure I could comment on Ms. Miers' inexperience and the fact that she is just another Bush henchman - well, henchperson really... but I will save it. Im sure you've already heard that... I could also point out the sheer audacity of our president in appointing yet another unqualified boob to an incredibly important position after the whole FEMA/Michael Brown incident and the criticism he recieved over that appointment... But I think I will stick with something more basic, more important for American society - dude, that eye-liner has got to go. I mean, sure I like cheap liquid eye-liner as much as the next girl/60 year old Supreme Court nominee, but jeez, woman, is that realy appropriate day wear? Perhaps a lighter, fresher, more serious day-time look would be more appropriate. Sometimes less is more (like less judicial experience, for example)

But maybe she is trying to get a little somethin' - somethin' with those bedroom eyes... is it just me or is she flashing George a sausy "take me now" look... hmmm... maybe that's how she got the nomination - she's more "experienced" than we think...

Ok, Ok... enough hatin' on the lady... honestly, she gives me hope... if she can become a Supreme Court justice maybe there's hope for me. I mean her allma mater, Southern Methodist, is only ranked 52.... FSU is 56... what-what!! Here I come, yo... now I just need to get in tight with the Bush dynasty... and Tally should be a great place to make that happen...I hear they just let Jeb's son back out on perole...

Actually, in all seriousness, Im glad that a real person from a real school is being nominated, even though she isnt my first pick... (ok, I wouldnt have picked her, ever) but It's about time that wealth and educational pedigree stopped being such a determiner for our political leaders. I'm sure Yale and Harvard are great schools but their students aren't the only ones in the country getting a good education... and they aren't necessarily the smartest kids in the land... maybe the most well-connected... but I'm not sure how well they represent the average, regular Joe Blow american... (this is where I throw in my little campaign ad - Miriam for president, 2032: free health care, fair wages, enviornmental protection and legal marijuana for everyone!! :)

But I digress... and now I am just procrastinating...

Bridget jones: an oldie but a goodie...:)

In my experience, the journey toward self-acceptance has been much like that of religion - everyone tells you how wonderful it is, and how much you're missing out, but no one really tells you how you can attain it. So you end up spending years of your life searching and reaching for that nebulous "thing" that will make you happy, and just when you think you've got it, you wake up one morning feeling as empty and alone as you did when the journey began
Self-acceptance, inner beauty, whatever it is you want to call it, has become a social pressure as important as being skinny in our society. So now, we can feel self-conscious and ashamed about the fact that we are self-conscious and haven't worked hard enough to become a better person. People tell you things like "No one can love you unless you learn to love yourself." Talk about putting pressure on a girl! Now in addition to the pressures of loosing weight, having a successful career, stop biting my nails, learning to be clean and organized and giving back to my community, I have to worry about learning to love myself and develop inner beauty or else no one will want to be around me? Is it me or this all just a little bit too much to ask?
Maybe thats why many of us imperfect women love Bridget Jones. Shes fat, she smokes, she is a horrible public speaker, she is self-conscious and self-doubting, and she never seems to be fully at peace with who she is. Basically, she is real. She wears granny panties to suck in her fat rolls. She is constantly paranoid that her boyfriend is cheating on her with someone better looking. She is afraid to get naked in front of a man because he might notice her wobbly bits. How many women out there can identify with at least some aspect of who she is.
Bridget is not the typical fairy tale style heroine. She doesnt start off an ugly ducking at the beginning of the movie and then *ta-da* become magically transformed by a makeover or new outlook on life into a new and improved person who lives happily ever after. I mean, in life, how many people actually have some type of miraculous transformation like that? Dont get me wrong, Bridget, just like most women, tries to be a better person, and sometimes she manages to gain control over parts of her life. Sometimes she feels sexy and self-confident. Sometimes she loses weight or manages to kick the smoking habit for a few weeks. But ultimately, life happens and the self-acceptance fades away and she returns to her normal, imperfect state, just like the rest of us
And you know what? Mark Darsey loves her, just the way she is. No matter how often she fucks up or embarrasses herself, he stays. He doesn't need her to have some type of transformation and develop a constant state of self-acceptance and inner beauty. She doesnt have to do anything or be anyone else to gain his love and acceptance. That is why we love the story of Bridget Jones. She makes us feel like we can be happy, just the way we are. Someone out there will love us despite our slightly overweight frames, our self-doubt, our nail biting, and our lack of inner beauty. Being loved is not contingent upon working toward some intangible transformation that always seems just a little bit out of reach.Instead. it's something that all human beings deserve, no matter how imperfect. And maybe somehow this understanding that we deserve to be loved and accepted dispite our flaws, will allow us to relax, enjoy the journey, and eventually stumble upon a little bit of that inner-beauty, on our own time, after-all....
Bridget Jones is the best fairy tale ever!

The gevernator is a big ol' chode...

Ok, two short rants and then it’s off to bed for me.

1.) Plan B – the FDA claims they will not allow Plan B, the morning after pill, to be sold over the counter because then minors might buy it. Hmmm…. Gonna call a big bullshit on that one. Alcohol is sold over the counter and no one seems to think regulating it is a problem. You take your plan B to the register, it’s scanned, it beeps and you have to show your ID. Could it be that W’s ultra-religious, fundamentalist cronies have bought out the FDA? I mean, I for one am a pretty moderate liberal when it comes to abortion…. I think it should be severely limited, but even I can see the benefits of the morning after pill. The need for later term abortions would dramatically decrease, and isn’t that what the pro-lifers are after??? I mean, baby steps, people… But you know what I really think is driving this?? The pharmaceutical and medical industry. Plan B is basically a whole pack of birth control taken at once. This means, if it’s safe enough to sell Plan B over the counter, then logically, we could sell birth control pills over the counter. And damn, would pharmaceutical companies and doctor’s offices be out a shitload of money. So, my theory is the medical-industrial complex bought the FDA off. That’s my story, and I’m stickin to it…. J

2.) There is no such thing as activist judges. What we do have is both courts and legislatures who are so afraid to make an unpopular decision that they continually hand the responsibility off to each other. This way, when the shit hits the political fan, they can point their fingers and cry “outrage!!!... Look what those awful, liberal/conservative judges/politicians have done now!!”

Example: The California legislature has just passed a bill allowing gay marriage. What does the governator have to say about this? He thinks the issue of gay marriage should be decided in the courts. Am I hearing this right?! Just months after the Terri Shivo fiasco, a conservative republic says an issue like gay marriage should be decided by “activist judges”?! I think the governator is a big ol’ chode*…. He doesn’t want to get stuck with the backlash from either side of this issue. So, he wants to hand-off to the courts… that way, when they decide the law should be upheld, he and all his conservative colleagues can cry “outrage!!!”

Let us not think that the legislature is alone in this. Having only been in law school a few weeks, I have already read a number of judicial opinions in which the court hands-off to the legislature. My question is, if no one is willing to step up to the plate, for fear they will be dubbed “activists” or something worse, who is going to step up and implement change???

*in protest to the usage of the term “pussy” which is a derogatory, and sexist insult to women (notice it is the only slur that is a female term used by males to insult other males, insinuating that they are weak like women) I have decided to replace this term with “chode” – the skin between a man’s balls and asshole. Every time the term “pussy” could be used, I will inset this more fitting, gender appropriate term. If we all ban together on this, we could start a linguistic revolution….

John Roberts the 40 year old virgin?

John Roberts the 40 year old virgin??? haha...