What keeps men and women from being equal: the choice...

Recently, during a discussion on women’s issues and equality, someone asked me if knowing what I did, I would have rather been born a man. And for the first time, although I didn’t actually say it, my answer to that question was yes. It’s not the monthly menstruation that bothers me or the fact that I will always be (on average) physically weaker than a man. It’s not even the long history of discrimination. I don’t think that it will be impossible for me to accomplish my goals and dreams because I am a woman. I’m not angry because of the sexual double standard or the fact that society places a much heavier burden on me to be physically attractive then it does on men. None of this is really that bothersome….

But, the one aspect of being a woman that truly tortures me is - the choice. The choice that I’ve dreaded since I was a little girl. The choice that I know will follow me throughout my adult life. The choice that no man will ever really understand. As a woman, I will have to choose between being a mother and being a professional. Career over family. I will have to think about it, struggle with it, agonize over it… Even if I decide to do both, that decision process is inevitable. And, no matter what I choose, I will probably end up one day looking back on my life, wondering if I made the right choice…

Men do not have to make that decision. The world assumes that men can have a career and a family without sacrificing either. I envy that so much.

Even other women contribute to the pressure we feel to make “the choice.” The other day I was discussing this with some of my female, law school friends. They both stated that they were going to take several years off and stay at home to raise their children because that was the best thing you could do if you were going to have a child. They didn’t want someone else raising their kids. They assured me that it was a choice and that each woman had to decide for herself, but the implication was evident – good mothers stay home and raise their kids. Good mothers put themselves and their careers on hold. Good mothers make the right choice.

I don’t want to make the choice. I want career and family to come to me as easily as they come to men. I don’t want to hear about biology or my nature or my maternal instincts. I don’t want to be here, at 2am wondering if in 20 years I am going to look back on my life and question whether or not I made the right choice.

I don’t care how far women have come. As long as “the choice” haunts us, we will never be truly equal.

"But who will protect the corporations???"

Chickens are to birds as I am to:

Consumers

Corporations

OK, so maybe it’s a week analogy, but you get the point. More than likely you, my fellow American, have more in common with the average consumer than the average fortune 500 corporation. I would think most people realize this. So why is it that in my contracts class, all of the crazy republicans support corporations like Gateway when they rip off consumers? Scenario: When P opens his new gateway computer, in the box he finds a long, technical list of terms and conditions. One of the terms is an arbitration clause that says if there is a problem and he wants to file suit he can’t. He has to arbitrate the case in NY (by the time P travels to NY and pays arbitration costs, he has spent more than the value of the computer. Thus, Gateway has, in effect, deprived P of any meaningful access to recovery.) What’s more, P has 5 days to return the computer if he does not accept these terms. The court ruled that this was not a valid. One would think that all potential computer purchasers would be glad. But nooooooo…. Heated debate ensued…

One very bright student (*wink*) suggested that even providing prior notice was not enough because all the computer companies would just include the arbitration clause in their contracts, making the market driven solution (buying elsewhere) moot. Instead, consumer protection legislation was needed to make sure that companies did not take away consumer’s access to a legitimate forum/remedy. You would think that future computer buyers would support this idea… but amazingly many did not. Outcries of “but who will protect the corporations” could be heard throughout the room. Somehow, making sure that companies do not take advantage of consumers was “taking away the rights of corporations.” Who knew ripping the average, working class American off was a right. One person even said that we don’t need any more legislation regulating corporations. Yeah! Corporations don’t need to be regulated!! I mean, historically, companies have always considered the best interests of the consumers. Those child labor laws, minimum wage and overtime requirements, discrimination rules, EPA standards, FDA regulations, etc. were totally unnecessary! Dude!! If companies had their way, 12 year old would still be working in factories for 10 cents an hour and no one would have health insurance!!!! Corporations will do whatever they can get away with. This is why we need government to step in and keep them in line. Corporations already run the friggin’ country!! And somehow these delusional, middle class republicans have been brain-washed by corporate loving American into believing that corporations are in danger and their rights are being taken away!! HELLO!!!! Have you been paying attention for the last 150 years??? But don't you worry so much, Republicans, (I know all this silly consumer protection nonsense is making your widdle head hurt), with out President the oil tychoon and his vice-president in the International arms business, I have a sneaking suspicion that somehow the corporation will manage just fine...